By now I've done around 500 weddings. I've only had one truly terrible experience-- something I'm still not ready to write about at length, though suffice it to say I kept my game face on and delivered the ceremony perfectly given the circumstances, despite the fact that I was seething on the inside. What I am willing to say about that experience for now is that it involved a very ego-crazed DJ and some bullshit he pulled with the microphone situation both at the rehearsal and then during the actual ceremony. It was so bad that I refused to ever again work at the venue where this DJ is a permanent fixture-- I just cannot and will not deal with such bad juju at someone's wedding. I want the experience to be JOYFUL.
Toward that end, for today-- instead of trotting out all the details of that experience, which still make me livid -- I want to speak more generally about microphones and how to avoid microphone fiascos at your ceremony. Which necessitates talking about DJs because very often DJs and microphones go hand-in-hand at a wedding unless you are doing your own music (more on that in a bit).
Of all the personality types I meet at weddings, hands down the most difficult are never nervous bride and groom or holy roller parents or bossy bridesmaids (though I have encountered all of these). Oh no. Two types that are neck-in-neck for Annoying People That Make My Job Way Harder Than It Needs to Be are: inexperienced and pushy "wedding planners" (quotes because often they aren't professionals) and ill-prepared DJs. We'll tackle bad wedding planners another day. Today, let's talk about DJs.
Let me say this-- I know TONS of super excellent DJs. If you need a referral, ask me. Or just type DJ in the search engine of my blog and check out the details for kickass DJs like Byrne and Anthony Conforti (and no, I don't get kickbacks for these recommendations, I just love working with these dudes). Sadly though, there are some really crappy DJs out there. Some of them are just inexperienced and not actually evil. Occasionally though, I run into a DJ with an ego bigger than Texas and this super irritates me. Let me explain.
One of my biggest selling points I offer couples regarding my officiant services is assurance that I never forget it is NOT MY WEDDING. Yes, I'm there to do an important job. And yes, I'll offer advice when asked for it. But I don't do surprise sermons, I don't force my style on them. I strive to honor all of their requests. If I want to trot out my ego I have other arenas in life where I can do that. Similarly, I believe all of your vendors should offer you such respect. I don't mean it's your duty to boss them around or be jerky about it. But you are laying out a decent chunk of change so you get to put in requests and you are within your rights to have reasonable requests honored.
Last week, I did a ceremony where the DJ informed me that no, he didn't have a wireless mic for me, because he said the brides had not "paid for the upgrade." He tried handing me a wireless handheld mic, like the kind you see at a karaoke bar. Hello? He calls himself a wedding DJ? When I protested that I needed both hands to hold my book and he should really have a wireless lapel mic, he suggested I buy my own equipment and bring it with me. What a jerk. When I talked to the brides, they were upset and swore they'd paid for a mic. I suspect that they were not properly informed by the DJ about their options. In the end, the brother of one of the brides stood behind me and held the mic for me, as if he were the human mic stand. It was so sweet of him to trouble shoot like that, but honestly, that DJ should have been prepared.
I've encountered other DJs who have handed me clip-on mics with broken clips, who've asked me to be clipped onto a mic with a 30 foot wire attached (to drag behind me- I refused), who've had mics that weren't strong enough to connect with the speakers, and who've forgotten batteries. That's unprofessional. And yes, we all make mistakes, so let's leave wiggle room for that. But I so consistently encounter DJ errors, that I think too often it's laziness vs. genuine oversight. And why do I think this? Because 9 times out of 10 when there is a DJ issue, if I try to start a conversation about it the DJ gets flip with me like it's not his problem.
So here's what I'd like you to please do. If you have 80 or more guests, consider a microphone setup. If you have fewer than 80 guests, it's optional and, in my opinion, more intimate to go without-- but that's your choice-- unless you're at a notably loud venue like The Oasis, where even tiny weddings require mics. If you have a professional DJ, tell him or her you need a wireless lapel mic for the officiant, and it needs fresh batteries, and a cover to cut the thundery effect in case it's windy out. You shouldn't have to spell out that the clip-on mic should have a working clip, but you might need to. A mic with a mic stand can also work, but frankly I think that type doesn't look so hot in photographs. Also, I have to lean into it, which also doesn't look great. In addition to talking to your DJ, you can also check with your venue to see if they offer built-in PA setups. Just be sure to put MICROPHONE SITUATION on your checklist.
If you are going the DIY route for music, using a friend and an iDevice to pump up the tunes, it's worth investing in a good PA system. In Austin, you can rent a good setup at Rock N' Roll Rentals. You can pick it up earlier in the week and just pay a flat fee to hang onto it through the weekend. Ask for my friends Marty or Craig or Joe-- I know the whole gang down there (and again, no kickbacks, I'm just telling you you can get good, quality product and GREAT service at RNRR). Be sure the setup includes a lapel mic. And call them well in advance to make a plan, because if you're getting married during, say, SXSW week, they might be wiped out of all equipment.
If you are also going to have a video made, please let your officiant know in advance if she or he will be wearing an additional mic to capture sound for video. I wear a dress with no pockets to perform ceremonies. That means I either hitch the wireless device to my drawers (yes, my underwear) or stuff it in my bra strap so it doesn't show in your picture. If you want me to clip on TWO mics, I need to wear super strong underwear or pants or something, lest my drawers drop during the vows-- definitely something you do not want in your pictures.
Okay, that's the end of today's lecture To recap: if you're interviewing a vendor and s/he is giving you lip and telling you how it HAS to go (i.e. their way) find another vendor. Talk to your DJ and your venue about the mic setup.
And stay tuned-- because one of these days I'm going to tell you about the aforementioned DJ from Hell, and also I'm going to reveal tales of wedding planners that would be better off flipping burgers. But for now, let's just enjoy this lovely weather, eh?
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